I’m stoical with hello-i love you-and-goodbye cycle in life, to the point of cynism. Not that i don’t belive in heartaches or I’m too numb to feel it, but I just happened to always do the leaving (hahaha!). But now that I experienced it all, I feel like the world’s crumbling down. You would feel a heavy lump inside when someone walks away or leaves you, specially if you really witness someone walking away with your own two eyes. There’s an intricate pattern of disappointments and frustrations. Next comes the denial and make-believe, asking yourself if it’ s really happening, that there’s still some sense of unreality; and the fact that that person’s gone is not sinking in…not yet sinking in…When reality sets in, you would start asking yourself again questions like "What went wrong?…", "did I do something?",etc., thereafter, regret and remorse enter the scene. You wanna shout and ran like crazy and tear youself into pieces…

I hate myself!!!!!!!!!!