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another chapter sa book ko…

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     I never enjoyed shopping, now I decided to resent it. Why? Ice, my lifelong friend (note: since day one in college) brought me along with her as she scooped all boutiques at Greenbelt. Don’t get me wrong, I really love walking and strolling (I won’t be a mountaineer if I hate walking!) but what I’m not fond of shopping is the endless fitting of clothes – from blouses to trousers to cargo pants to mini-skirts and to (believe me) underwear. For the life of me, I couldn’t seem to figure why or how I managed to survive dealing with Ice (talking about “talent”)! But that’s okay, she remained true and loyal to me despite everything that had happened for the last ten years we’re together and I couldn’t imagine living life without her anyway. But I just couldn’t find it in my heart to join her in her favorite part of shopping — watching, scrutinizing and criticizing each individual we came across the mall. In addition to that, she was actually broken-hearted (for the, ah, eighth time?) and wanted me to “comfort” her. Being the “ulirang friend” I am, I kept her company.

     We’re at one of the coffee shops in that mall and she was (note this) ranting (for the eighth time) about how great the relationship was for the first few days they were (latest “ex-flame”, there’s no boyfriend word in her vocabulary) together and how she’d recently found out that her “ex-flame” was cheating on her. She thought that Oyie (her latest ex-flame’s name) was the one (as if I didn’t hear the same sentiment seven times before she met Oyie). I never really did agree with her liberated lifestyle (she insisted that she’s not liberated or immoral, she’s just modern and cosmopolitan – whatever?!) Yeah she isn’t liberated - kissing on the first date and having sex on third day as a couple – I bet that’s considered “modern”, huh! I never really did get the meaning of the word “cosmopolitan” apart from the word “cosmos” which is somewhat associated with the universe and space, etc…According to Britannica.com, word “cosmos” means a complex orderly self-inclusive system (interpret the meaning on your own) and cosmopolite are those who are complex orderly self-inclusive people? Whatever!!! Darn, I care? Going back to Ice, I’m kind of stoical about her heartbreaks and I‘ll bet my all, even my life that after three days or a week, she would find a new flame! Two weeks without a boyfriend would be hellish to her and she would say “My God, magkapareho na ba tayo Karrie, isinumpa na rin ba ako?” as if my being boyfriend-less is a curse and not my choice!

     Ice was in her usual ranting mode “I have given him all of me, everything, tapos ito pa ang gagawin niya sa’kin! Ang kapal talaga ng face niya! So kapal” Ice sipped her frapuccino after her ranting marathon and was about to speak again when she suddenly stopped and her eyeballs enlarged. ”Nak ng…of all places dito ko pa makikita ang walanghiya!” dismay and disbelief were written on her face “Kabayo?”

     “Kabayo? Mukhang kabayo si Oyie?” I finally spoke. I never had the chance to meet Oyie and most of her flames for she always had whirlwind romances - easy come, easy go; now you have, later you won’t.

     “Gaga! Mukhang kabayo ‘yung girl. Nakakainsulto sa kagandahan ko!”

     So to verify my friend’s judgment (Ice will never see any girl prettier than her, especially someone whom her flame chose over her – pathetic, pathetic Ice! Note: I still lover her despite that!). “Alma?”

     “Alma? Is it her name? Alma?” Ice mused. “Hindi ba Petra? As in Petrang kabayo?” she rolled her eyes as she spoke. “Wait, you know her? You know that mang-aagaw girl?”

     “Shut up, Ice, of course I know her, she’s Alma remember.” I wished I’d said that in a more convincing way. “Kasama natin siya sa org noong college.”

     At that instant, Alma looked at our table as if feeling Ice’s scorching stare and rude words. She frowned a bit probably trying to recollect who we are when I smiled at her. She smile back and incredulously said my name for everyone in that coffee shop to hear. “Karina? Karina Alfonso?” I nodded and smiled some more. Come to think of it, Ice and Alma always collided with each other during org meetings, they always clashed then, they took opposite sides all the time and contrasting opinion on almost all topics. No wonder it’s I whom Alma was able to recognize first. I couldn’t help but think that until now, this undying clash between them remained, only this time had something to do with Oyie.

     “Buhay pa pala ang babaing impakta!” Ice might’ve said it in a not so audible voice meaning to say it to herself, but I know better than that, she really meant Alma to hear it.

     “Dahil buhay ka pa!” Alma wouldn’t give up.

     I just kept quiet the whole time as I watched them. Ice and Alma didn’t grow up, I guessed, as if 10 years hadn’t passed. Perhaps they missed each other, they were of course together for four years, four years of messing each other’s lives. Something zapped in when I traveled back to college. It was really a lot of fun, I really did enjoy college days and I did love every moment of it. I had my many firsts in college - first time I took alcohol in my entire life, first time I cut classes, first time I went to school with my homework undone, first time I cheated on an exam, first time I cursed a professor and the list went on. I found myself smiling afterwards.

     “Hello, Karrie, nag-a-astral travel ka? I’m asking you a question”, I heard Alma’s voice. Probably Ice and Alma grew tired insulting each other.

     “Ha?” I asked in hazed, as if awakening from a deep slumber.

     “Do you remember Sigmund Nicolas?” she asked again.

     “Sigmund Nicolas?” I didn’t notice Oyie had already sat down and joined our table. But I didn’t mind at all except that I worried Alma would learn about Oyie and Ice’s past “flame”. It’d be a big bang!

     “Shut up as if kilala mo yun, noh!” Ice’s turned to Oyie to shut him up.

     “Pinsan ko yun!” Oyie shouted back to Ice. “Ikakasal na nga ‘yon next month noh!” The world’s really small. Who would’ve thought we’d see Alma with Ice’s former boyfriend, who happened to be Sigmund’s cousin?!

     Sigmund Nicolas? T’was familiar, awkwardly familiar.

     “Asus, Karrie, si Sigmund, ‘yong president ng org natin na lifetime crush mo” I saw Ice’s eyes enlarged again as if I’ve committed a mistake. “Patay na patay ka kaya dun dati!”

    “What happened to you and him nga pala? Why did you break up?”

    Break up? Like boyfriend and girlfriend break up? I couldn’t remember being coupled up with him, did we become boyfriends?

    “Break up? We broke up?” I incredulously asked. Was Alma on drugs? What was she talking about? Sigmund was never my boyfriend. We never became boyfriends, for Pete’s sake! I really wanted to be his girlfriend if only he’d have me. I was ready to throw caution to the wind if he’d asked me to be his girl but he hadn’t. I had never loved anyone before him (first love ko nga siya noh!?) and I always thought that life’s so unfair that he had consumed so much of me but I was at all invisible to him!

     “What? Naging kayo ba, Karrie? Niligawan ka ni Sigmund?” I was surprised to see Ice’s more surprised than I was. “E di ba, NBSB ka?”

     “NBSB?” Oyie retorted. ”Ano yun?”

     “No boyfriend since birth, bobo!” Ice again.

     “You mean to say hindi ka niligawan ni Sigmund? Ang alam ko before graduation he would confess to you na dahil matagal ka na niyang crush, since first year college pa. Ang tagal niyang nag-ipon ng lakas ng loob para lang malapitan ka. Sabi niya pa na-love at first sight siya sa’yo nang magkabanggan kayo sa corridor!”

     “Ha?” that’s all I could say! What more could I say when I couldn’t even utter a word. That day’s full of wonders. Ice saw the latest person who had brokern her heart, Oyie. Oyie happened to be Alma’s boyfriend. Alma’s a former classmate and the closest girl to Sigmund in our college org. And Sigmund, a cousin of Oyie happened to be my first love. What really turned out as the greatest surprise was knowing that Sigmund loved me. He loved me the day we bumped into each other at the corridor? That simply meant that, while I was loving him, he was loving me back? Like we were MU? Like we have mutual feelings? Like if I got to know about his feelings and he’d learned about mine, we’re OFFICIALLY TOGETHER then? We could’ve been boyfriends? Why did I only get to hear these revelations now? But what did Oyie say earlier? Ikakasal na si Sigmund next moth? I got to learn Sigmund’s feeling for me a couple of years back only to find out he’s getting married the coming month? Was this some kind of a joke? Like, my life’s a big joke? Like you got a taste of something you could possibly have no more? Now, where could I find justice? Nasaan ang hustisya sa lahat ng mga nangyari? N-A-S-A-A-N?