What’s the wisest thing to do if you extremely want something or someone
that/who can never be yours (or can never be yours again or was never
yours)?

Let go.

Easier said than done. We may defy it, resist it or rebel against it, but
that’s the way it should be…or the way we should go.

Let go.

This is definitely a big challenge for me as it is for anyone else…

You see, if you’ve been reading my blog (hahaha…I wish a lot’ve read it
though it seems like Aimz is my only avid fan, not to mention Malen) I
couldn’t seem to forget him nor let go of the biggest “could’ve been” or
“what if of my life”…Now I’ve come to realized that the factual thing
behind crying bouts and sleepless nights, of being too frustrated and
broken-hearted and not being able to move on is due to holding on to him and
this special thing we’d shared, too much, way too much. There’s still this
sense of unreality with and in everything that had happened. There are still
alotta unanswered questions…A lotta unspoken words…but…

I simply have to let go. I must let go…

I would like to share this SMS I received from Rajsh :

“There are things in the world that can never be ours…just because of
these simple truths….
1. They are bad for us…
2. They belong to someone else…
3. We already lost the opportunity to claim them as our own…
and
4. They are just not meant to be ours.
So if you’re caught up with wanting something you clearly can’t have,
remember : You may trade in all your cards for what you want… in the end,
maybe you’ll find that it’s not something (or someone) you really need.”

I am not saying that I’ve gotten over him, really I don’t think it will be
any sooner but I definitely say I could and I would. Crying bouts isn’t
overdue yet but it will soon be, I believe.

It had been too painful loving him and keeping him and it had caused me a
lot of miseries, too. I’ve given up other men in favor of him who might not
have any idea or might not love me back or love me in the same way I love
him. But that’s okay, I believe that though love may not require you to
physically wilt and die, there are one too many emotional tortures. I
couldn’t blame him nor myself because it had already happened and there’s
nothing I , him or anyone can do to undone it. Maybe I really lost the
opportunity to own him when I was too busy living my life and forgot to get
his signals and undeliberately hurt him in the process. Little did I know
I’d regret over that and lost him forever. Now I coudl only look and love
afar and hope for eternal happiness for him. I could only be happy and
equally proud of what he had become, successfully finding his place under
the sun and standing firmly on it.

I would stop thinking of him that much and start to convince myself that
it’s a lost cause, that he’s not coming back. I have to tell myself the
dreaded truth only I refused to acknowledge : He is not mine and he’ll never
be. I have to move on and live on for I have a full life ahead of me.

It’s like telling yourself that it’s no use crying over spilled milk and let
bygones be bygones, let’s charge everything to experience.

He goes east, I’ll go west… and we both will live.

That’s all for now.